the tears of a little girl.the memories and past she so often missed.the agony that feels her lonely heart.the number of stab wounds that came her way.the hurtful acts of some that showed great detest.the world that is so ever-changing.when the morning awakes and everyone stirs in their lazy beds.a day awaits an unpredictable story that will be all left behind as a collection. a memory so filled with compassion, pain, torture, hate, joys, smiles, endless cheery laughters, surprises, odd-happenings and disgusting remarks.it;ll be tossed behind.walk out the door.with that heavy load of worries and the thought of an unpredictable fresh beginning. i know time and tide waits for no man.let alone a girl who yearns for assurance.

she has never truly learnt the word--independence.she relies.so much so she has learnt to overcome her fear.she aint no perfect being.she;s just a little girl.a girl that will want all the good things in life.her dolls, her candies, her joy.she yearns to grow up.she wonders how the future will be.she wonders about all the beautiful thoughts a girl will so adore.but as she grows, she realised, not all the things that crosses or becomes a part of her life is pretty.not everything is lovely.not everyone is worthy.the betrayal.the jealousy.the selfishness.the egoistic.the demanding.there was never someone who will ever be worthy to be left by her side.she doesnt seek fame and fortune.to her, attention from everyone around no longer amazes her.she realised what poverty meant.what wars inflict.what it meant to live in this torturous paradise called earth.no, paradise was never meant for earth.ruthless hell it should be.she is learning.she is always learning.being afraid wont do her any good.everything eventually happens for a reason.if the worst comes arriving by the door, there is no way out.all she can do is stretch out her relunctant hands to accept it.

i will learn.i will.i know now, not everything is beautiful.a scenary, a matter, a thing or a person can never be considered a beauty.but being able to learn and accept, to see and feel, to hear and breathe, to be able to reach deep in to my thoughts is somewhat a mystery.a new beginning, a beautiful beginning by the depths of my being.i will be happy.my happiness comes before everything.being happy will make everything, however ugly, beautiful.my life aint perfect but i ought to feel blessed and glad.i will appreciate the things that passes by.i will..i eventually will believe..

ade:s @ Saturday, January 21, 2006