todays the 31st of december, the very last day of year 2005.and i think the countdown is nothing but disgusting.totally gross.to me, how to countdown when i feel i havent had christmas? and now, the countdown to a new year?why do people even bother to countdown when 2006 ahead is nothing but a whole new year of endless trouble?the start of another ugly year marks the date closer to my deadlines.disgusting.every year's countdown is the same.accompanied with champagne or wine, on my sofa, over some worthless crap tv show that has a live telecast of a group of monkeys counting down.yucks.utterly disgusting.it has been the same for 19 years.a whole 19 years of my bloody freakin life.when will that ever change man?when?when can i really enjoy and feel that it is worthy to countdown to another brand new year?why am i always stuck with crap work that seem to be such a burden to me?WHY?oh man.the previous countdown to 2005 was a torture and now, another countdown.when will time feel sick and stop for a while to take a break?yah..i know i know.."time and tide waits for no man." but cant time and tide take a break?like chill for a while and then get back to their duties?and during their break-time, i can sit at a cosy corner to lay back and smile.

i dont need pity man.i dont even care if i should be out to join the crowds or wad so ever on this "special" day.i dont care about the countdown.i dont bloody care.the thought of 2006 is disgusting.so much so i feel sick and feverish.i;d rather be stuck away from the world.so i wont have to grow up.so i wont have to face responsibilities.so i can remain as curious.so i can remain simple.plain and simple.thats more than enough.more than enough..so much so to just be contented.

the last day of the year, i am..

bath-time for my lil darling..to usher in a nice-smelling year for him..

and a nice lil log cake to make-up for my ugly christmas, 2005..

ade:s @ Saturday, December 31, 2005