responsibility.tell me its about responsibilities.tell me i lack that.tell me if you really do think so.when things dont go my way, i learn to accept.adapt to changes.i try.i dont do well in them--i admit, for sure, i hate doing things i dont have interest in.the eyes of theirs, so filled with disgust.so filled with, " oh, is that it?"honestly, if you think you can produce something better, think you can handle it far better then me.please.for goodness sake.tell me straight in the face.i wont hate you.wont hide from you.wont even shed a tear.i promise, i;ll willingly give up my post to you.i wont miss abit.honestly.you think you are great enough.juggling stuff in all areas.an all rounder huh?dont tell me its about planning.i plan.but people dont follow.so what do you expect me to do?kill them all?one by one?what?tell me.honestly, if anyone of you out there thinks a better graduation book can be produced, no harm, i openly consider your comments.
if anyone of you think i'm not capable, tell me too.
then i can hand down everything.
thots of giving up remains on the surface of my thoughts.sometimes i ask myself.why bother to decide and depend on someone else for the design?cozz i aint good enough for my work to be considered as "professional"?why am i getting so worked up for something that might seem worthless to some?alright, first thing first, in the very first place, how did i end up in this pile of shit?my absence = the head.maybe it was my mistake.if only i had the guts to tell it off that i'm incapable then i wouldnt be left in this sort of trouble.maybe i should be selfish like how the others are.afterall, to think about it, why should i even bother when no one bothers?
so now, it;s plainly my responsibility or ours?

ade:s @ Wednesday, November 23, 2005