if only it was possible.kindly wake me up when september ends.to be precise.wake me up only when 9th sept ends.then i wont have to go through that tough time or "elimination" period.each crit session just make me feel dumb and useless.how the hell did i end up in this spot?i thought days out of sec school will probably be better.prob more fun.prob more smiling.prob more socializing.prob meetin more cute dudes.prob a string of chunky guys to yak with.and prob, a new experience or introduction to partying and gettin drunk and high.this WAS my ideal thinking--a life of a typical poly kid.simply heavenly.but unfortunately.no.it wasnt.it was never how i THOUGHT it was.definitely.i begin to question myself everyday.am i happy with my life.and unfortunately,for now,the answer aint even close to an OK.


have you ever not sleep for 36 hours and struggled to keep awake just to finish your assignments.have you ever go to bed and the moment you close your eyes, you see your lecturers shaking their heads and say--"oh well, am sure you are not gonna make it this time round?"have you ever dreamt of doing your assignments in your sleep?have you ever told your mum, "i still have a bit more left to do.dont disturb me" when your eyes are tightly closed and you're just talking in your sleep?have you ever hit your head against the bus window continously and waking up to see countless pairs of eyes staring at you?have you ever told yourself, "man.i feel dead.oh no!i dont feel dead.i am already dead" every morning?have you ever spent almost half of your allowance on taxi fares just to arrive in time for a morning lesson?have you ever told yourself, "this is it,i'm sick and tired of my life.i need a new life" almost every night.have you ever consume the amount of panadol i take just to ease my undying headaches.have you ever skipped lunch and dinner 'cause you really dont feel like eating?have you ever sat in front of the tv and watched programmes that never seem to get registered into your head?have you ever fell asleep while in the midst of watching your favourite programme?have you ever experience all the many many things i've listed so far?if you havent, well, let my introduce to you...the life of a design student.yes,this is..my life.


oh man.i feel so dead.a walking zombie.yah.a walking zombie.crit's in 2 days time and i'me not done yet.research is all in the mess.sketches..oh well, forget about 'em.my animation,far from done.my mindmaps and all..not even done.oh no.i am so gonna die.gerald still can happily claim,"ai yah nvm lah.when crit over you all are free liao.can happy happy go japan."and i was like..."hello!easier for you lecturers to say.i cant even picture myself on crit day so how the fark am i suppose to see myself a week after crit?"ok enough of all that grumbling..am gettin down to work now.wish me luck peeps.wish me lots of luck.i might survive.oh well...i shall survive.

ade:s @ Tuesday, September 06, 2005