i think its fading.seriously.the feeling is fading.i aint sure why this feeling's fading.i no longer feel that burning passion.i wanna find someone to talk abt it but everytime i do, i juzz cant say the words.i;m tearing up inside.sometimes i wished this didnt haf to happen to me.prob all this shit was a dream.a dream i would wake up from.maybe.maybe i hope.i aint sure.if i could turn back time and knew wad was ahead--like now, i'd rather not walk thru this path.i'd rather take an alternative.maybe i'd be happier.yah.maybe.maybe god had all the answers.maybe i should have done this and not that.yah.maybe.i suppose if i havent start "maybe-ing" i'll prob find some solutions.i guess its just about time i gotta really think about what i should do after i graduate.i dont haf much time now.i suppose i can live as a product designer.but the question is just how far can i go?how far will i go just to be a product designer?will i live the life i've always wanted?i know life is not about the choices we make but the amount of risks we take to accomplish or achieve certain satisfacton.but if i were to be a product designer, just how far am i goin to take risks?i see a dark empty lane right before my eyes.yes, pitched dark--to be certain i only see a dead end, a wall of bricks.woo..i hate growin up.i hate the farkin thot of it.i dont wanna be workin my guts out just to earn that petite amt of money just for survival.i'd rather do something i like and earn little.at least i see the meaning of living.i really aint sure man.aint sure.i enjoy being a designer but the thing is.its competitive.if i dont keep up, i'll fall and die a terrible death.i suppose its not "safe" enough?but then again, in this world, what's the definition of safe?it never existed.yah.it never did existed.oh well..lets just hope i'd figure out something soon.


** the isolation of loneliness dwells within me.see not what i am able to produce but what i'm truly made up of.one thing.there aint no flawless being.perfection never did existed.adore me for me.-- a d e : s

ade:s @ Monday, September 12, 2005