taste of silence.low profiled.unbothered.no cheery smiles or loud laughter.plain isolation.i'm beginning to slowly feel it and slowly falling for it.its nice to be left behind.reality never goes well for my case.never have and never will.i guess ive got countless haters in my life.but it all no longer bothers me.i no longer feel human.i just feel zombified.passion no longer burns in my blood.i just work along with what i think looks right.i work til i feel drained.i find things to do to keep myself going.time passes faster in this case and it sometimes does make me smile to myself.i utter words of encouragement to me.i smile away with me.i beginning to love myself.i guess.tho there are many things that i might hate about me.but whatever it is.i should take whatever that comes my way at my own pace.a speed in which i can handle and still make it for the deadlines.i dont wanna be classified as a dumb girl who chooses to live her life in isolation.in the end, you'll realise, who truly is that idiot.cozz at the end of the journey along this road called life, you'll realise theres too many things you've have done in complete blindness.so many things you have accomplished for the sake of doing so.have u really sat down and think through it and reflect so as to pave out a new road for yourself?have you tried looking at things from another perspective?if i dont do this, so what?what have i got to lose?time is never on my side but i believe in doing what i believe.it doesn't hurt if i get a successful career in 25 yrs time when i'm 44.i still reach my certain level of target.if i cant accomplish it, very well, there are certainly other ways i can live by.i wont live a life i might have dreamt of but it doesnt hurt.dreams will remain as dreams.i try to accomplish them but if it proves too hard and after time and time, very well, i will feel blessed for everything i'm given.i should and will be.i know i will.i wanna feel blessed and happy all my life.word of regrets should not find its way into my dictionary.i live an imperfect but blessed life.

ade:s @ Thursday, April 28, 2005