i think it must have really hurt him.with all that insults, the shoutings.everything he did, he did it for us.just for you and me.no other reasons why.he benefit nothin from it.not a thing at all.


he must have died so painfully.the physical abuse was hurting.but..the emotional torment was definitely unbearable.
* t h a n k . y o u


its scary.really scary.with everything that happened this morning.it was real, so real.i was there, every step of the way.even when he fell for the first time, the second and then the third....i witnessed the fall.the agony.felt the blazing sun.the unbearable thirst.i see the whipping, the blood gushing out of the wounds.the crowds breaking out loose, screaming and cursing and wanting to crucify him.the guards, trying to hold the crowds back with their spears.everything.its so heart-wrenching--afterall, he was human too.under torture.those mockings.his companion, the cross, to see him thru death..
i felt bitter.not really teary but more of that sort of hhmm...(wads the best word that best describes it)..* g u i l t.after everything that he went thru, after 18 years, i didnt haf true faith.i doubt him at times.this re-enactment certainly awoke my soul.i feel the pain.i feel the sufferings.i feel it.for the very first time.i do.i really do.the pain dont just come and leave.its more of a lasting thing.something that will grow with me.just like the feelings i have for gran.paps--his long departure to somewhere more peaceful and calm, yet he lives in me for as long as i live.he's my living legacy.and i'm forever his lil * a d e.

ade:s @ Friday, March 25, 2005