we had our p2 crit for the guzzini coffee cup + mug today.
*sighs..
no matter how much effort i put in, i'm just not good enough
i ain't sure whether i've not tried hard enough or i've tried too hard..

i'm juzz devastated at times
i feel like packing up all my stuff, throw all my materials, make room for the once so ever cheerful sunlight to dance down in my empty room and put everything behind..i just feel like living my life how it used to be. why should i even put myself in all these agonising pain that i've brought upon myself. why should i even be like some idiot, working my ass off on some project i really put effort in, only to be marked according to biasness and 'bang' by the lecturers. whatever i do, it's always wrong or not good enough..i feel hopeless. my work is not appreciated. what should i really do? how can i improve? in which area should i improve in?

after every crit, i feel dumb. the lecturers make me sound like a dumbo. like my times in training as a product + industrial design are all going down the drain. i tell myself, i feel stupid, just never good enough and most importantly, never ever gonna make it up--the cream of the crop. i'm forever left down in the deep dirty well where i'll never see that patch of greenland. i suddenly feel like plath.--always feelin not good enough for everything.

:: a princess of nothing is wad ade is ::


ade:s @ Friday, February 04, 2005