I muz say many tinks did happen~ During tis period of time~ TONs though, dun realli wanna say them all out coz i tink it'll make mi feel more confused and lost..Now's da week's hols, got tons of stuff to do.. All those crappy work, deadline, projects..All juz--SO SUCKY!

Went to da Darkroom today to develop my 2 rolls of film (I took them @ Arab St yesterday) Was super duper HYPER yesterday..So happy when i saw all those stuff--CAN'T help it^ i guess i got tis tink for RETROISM or VINTAGE~ Da sight of colourful huge bangles, old redish sofa, polka dot wall-papers, "plastic-looking" bags, Mickey Mouse, that old black antique fone, abandoned yellowish lamp, beaded curtains juz make mi feel so alive~ I feel super good to be able to see all these stuff--Though i'm not or will nv ever be born in dat particular era, it's realli great to see all these stuff.

I guess i've realli become a designer. Really LIVE up to dat word--*D E S I G N E R. Have my own sense of entertainment, my form of liking and SIMPLY, JUZ MY STYLE~ I'm deeply in love wif da 60s, and 70s--dat DISCO era ++ SIMPLY PERFECT~ I wanna haf my own home! I wan da walls to be done in black & white checkers--i dun wan to live in a SPACE AGE era! I DUN CARE~

Feel a sense of accomplishment today..Washed my own film. Dat kind of satisfaction, no one, simply no one can ever noe. Dat kind of excitement is juz like being locked up in da darkroom for almost half of ur life. Den, finally, u see a beam of light. Juz dat small beam of light. It's more den enough to noe that it's so good to be alive. So great~ I tink though my life now is kinda complicated, i tink it's worth living for. As i look back @ my past 17 yrs of my life, i've discovered dat i've learnt alot of tinks. Not juz educational knowledge, but experiences. Experiences that are not always pleasant. I tink so far, i've nv truly regretted on anything xcept putting in too much faith and trust on friendships.

If only i could go back and change one tink in my life, i tink i'd probably not be too naive, to actually be so willing to give up almost everything to make da word "friends forever" stay true~ I guess, dats my one and only biggest regret-- GOODBYE FOREVER 3SOME, prob we were nv meant to be true and da bestest paLs. Prob, in u ppl's eyes i'm only sumone whom u come to only in times of need and receive entertainment from but i would realli like u ppl to noe dat--*i'm onli HUMAN and i do haf FEELINs too...

ade:s @ Wednesday, February 25, 2004